Too Much Information

I’m no prude but I can’t possibly be the one one out here who is suffering from tv commercial TMI. Vaginal infections, genital herpes and menstrual flow excess simulation may be perfectly legitimate issues to advertise solutions for, but could we be a little less overt?

The very latest is a pregnancy test commercial I’ve been seeing recently. It starts off like a Mach II shaver advert — dark background, hi-tech swooshy sounds, and deep intoning voice of the announcer. Who are they targetting? Anyway, this all leads up to the piece de resistanc, as the levitating test gets assaulted by — I kid you not — what we are to understand is a stream of urine.

I mean EW!

Ok, it’s supposed to be tongue in cheek, I get that, and it doesn’t have to be allbaby chicks and bunnies, but from the male-tastic shaving -style motif to the golden shower, really, isn’t this a bizarre way to sell a product to women?

Show Your AARP Card at the Door

Now this is taking the Early Bird Special just a bit too far.

Thu Mar 15, 9:06 AM ET (Yahoo News)

BERLIN (Reuters) – A brothel in Germany hopes to capitalize on the growing number of retirees by offering them a 50 percent discount for sex in the afternoon.

The “Pascha” in the western city of Cologne has introduced reduced rates for sex sessions for clients aged 66 and above — provided they can prove they are old enough.

“All clients need to do is show us some proof of age,” said a spokesman for the brothel. “We don’t earn as much money, but we’re establishing ourselves across a broader range of age groups,” he added.

Ahaaaaa… someone has been been reading their marketing e-newsletters on targetting a new demographic.

Meanwhile the cost of Viagra in Germany has tripled. 

Mental Song: Put Your Records On

Corinne Bailey Rae, of course.

Video here.

A Soldier is Not a Troop

When did the definition of the word “troop”change?  A troop by definition, like squad, herd or gaggle, describes a plural unit  — plural, people! It’s not that advanced a word! Three soldiers cannot be three troops anymore than three cows can be three herds, or three albatrosses be three flocks.

The misuse of the word troop is especially egregious on network news broadcasts. Excuse me, aren’t newscasters journalists by trade? And aren’t journalism students required to have more than a passing familiarity with basic English?  Arg.

Animal Relationships: Deer

I know its really corny but I do rather like the box of salt he’s about to surprise her with.

Can you tell this was skoodled in the 80s? Look at what he’s wearing! Pleated pants and wouldn’t you say that shirt is open just one button too much? No cervidae would be caught wearing anything like that now.

Laundry Haiku

Ok it’s really senryu and not haiku, if we’re being picky.

Yin / yang, dark/light — all
Balance out, so why must I
Separate my wash?

Mental Song of the Day

“Lets Get Loud” by J-Lo

Mental Song of the Day

“I’m Looking Over a Four-Leaf Clover”

Thanks to a discussion on “Will people ever learn what a Shamrock is?”

Yeah, thanks a lot.

I Lost a Sock in the Laundry Room

And posted this, to the apparent delight of at least one neighbor:

But it worked!! Ha! Several weeks later, the sock was found at the very site from which is disappeared. The following news alert was posted:

What if God Were One of Us (and Liked to Buy T-Shirts Online?)

Let me preface this by saying I’ve been really sick all week and finally well enough to goof around, without doing anything actually *useful*.

I have an online business and that means, inevitably, the usual attempts at credit card fraud, and the “system” declines though that don’t look kosher. Just yesterday I had a declined order from someone with the last name Christ. So I got curious and looked at all my declined orders from near all-time …

Turns out I’ve had declined orders from Moises (Moses) and Mohammed as well. For some reason this amuses me.

It may be time to lay off the antihistimines.